Honey, Don’t You Want a Man Like Me?

Towson Center, Maryland
March 23, 1988

FZ--lead guitar, computer-synth, vocal
Ike Willis--rhythm guitar, vocal
Mike Keneally--rhythm guitar, synth, vocal
Bobby Martin--keyboards, vocal
Ed Mann--vibes, marimba, electronic percussion
Walt Fowler--trumpet, flugelhorn, synth
Bruce Fowler--trombone
Paul Carman--alto sax, soprano sax, baritone sax
Albert Wing--tenor sax
Kurt McGettrick--baritone sax, bass sax, contrabass clarinet
Scott Thunes--electric bass, Minimoog
Chad Wackerman--drums, electronic percussion

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was OUTA-SITE!
He had an Irish Setter
(Arf!)

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together

What a splendid sight
(Roh-hon doon doon)
Her teeth were white
(Roo-teeh roo-teeh)
The shorts were striped (it was Ladies Nite)
He was glad that he met her

He was an office boy (His name was Betty)
Her fav'rite group was TWISTED SISTER
(They discussed the weather) AAAH!

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
(Mumble-mumble . . . He scores!)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a SCHMUCK had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey? Get it honey?)
(I mean that, I mean that)

Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY
Who delivered their dinner

(Hey . . . ) The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room,
Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!

He took her home to a motor court (hey . . . )
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,
But it made him angry!
(You know it, I spent so much fuckin' money on you,
An' you just make me look like an ASSHOLE!)

He called her a pig
(Pig pig pig . . . )
A slut
(Slut slut slut . . . )
And a whore
(Whore whore whore . . . )
A bitch
(Bitch bitch bitch . . . )
And a Republican
(Republican!)
And she slammed the door
(The door!)
In a petulant frenzy!
(A petulant frenzy!
This is a petulant frenzy!
I'm petulant,
And I'm having a frenzy!)

On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
She weeps and she peeps
Through the curtain

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he has to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the sound of Long Island

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Man!
Baby don't you want a man sometimes?