If I Were Gay

Here we are
Dear old friend
You and I drunk again
Laughs have been had
Tears have been shared
Maybe the whisky has gone to my head

But if I were gay
I would give you my heart
and if I were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if I were gay
we would swim in romance
but I'm not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care
I do
I just don't see myself in you
another time another scene
I'd be right behind you
if you know what I mean

'Coz if I were gay
I would give you my soul
and if I were gay
I would give you my (w)hole... being
and if I were gay
we would tear down the walls
but I am not gay
so would you stop cupping my--hand

We've never hugged
We've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
You have opened brand new doors
So get over here and drop ... your ... Drawers!