Sixteen Saltines

She's got stickers on her locker,
And the boys' numbers there in magic marker,
I'm hungry and the hunger will linger,
I eat sixteen saltine crackers then I lick my fingers,

Well every morning I deliver the news,
Black hat, white shoes, and I'm red all over,
She's got a big mailbox that she puts out front,
Garbage in, garbage out, she's gettin' what she wants,

Who's jealous? Who's jealous? Who's jealous? Who's jealous of who?
If I get busy then I couldn't care less what you do,
But when I'm by myself I think of nothing else,
Than if a boy just might be getting through and touching you,

Spike heels make a hole in a lifeboat,
Driftin' away when I'm talking and laughing as we float,
I hear a whistle, that's how I know she's home,
Lipstick, eyelash, broke mirror, broken home,

Force fed, forced meds 'til I drop dead,
You can't defeat her, when you meet her you'll get what I said,
And Lord knows there's a method to her madness,
But the Lord's joke is a boat in a sea of sadness,

She doesn't know but when she's gone I sit and drink her perfume,
And I'm sure she's drinkin' two, but why, where, and what for and who?
And I'm solo rollin' on one side of the boat,
Looking out, throwing up, a lifesaver down my throat,

Who's jealous? Who's jealous? Who's jealous? Who's jealous of who? (x3)