If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics they say he's Money Cash Hoes
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos
You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
I got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 problems but the bitch aint one
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake.
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So I...pull over to the side of the road
I heard Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?
Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo'
Liscense and registration and step out of the car
Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are
I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit
Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?
Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?
Or somebody important or somethin'?
Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
if you havin girl problems
i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one hit me

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
if you havin girl problems
i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there I go trapped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harrasin' them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems b, and a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy

If your havin girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in your zapitos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin doe
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to ritches nigga i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin law
I got two choices yall pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
And i heard "Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?"
Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo?
"Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four"
"Liscense and regestration and step out of the car"
"Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit
"Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"
"Or somebody important or somethin?"
Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come"
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to inore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clappin
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there i go traped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African
All because ths fool was horrasin them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun
I got 99 problems but this bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's Money Cash Hoes
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads...fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to ritches niggas i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
I heard Son do you know why i'm stoppin' you for
Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo'?
Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo'
Liscense and registration and step out of the car
Are you carryin' a weapon on you i know a lot of you are
I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit
Well, do you mind if i look round the car a little bit
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk in the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'
Or somebody important or somethin'
Tah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
We'll see how smart you are when the K-9 comeI got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho
This is not a ho in the sense of havin' a pussy
But a pussy havin' no God damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'm ma get to clappin''n'
He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the captain
And there i go trapped in the kit-kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin' again
Paparazzis with they cameras snappin' them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African
All because this fool was harrassin' him
Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharin
But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how i hold my gun
I got 99 problems, bein' a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X2]

if you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Your crazy for this one, Rick!
Its ya boy

If your havin girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's Money Cash Hoes
I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin doe
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches niggaz i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin law
I got two choices yall pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
And i heard Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?
Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo?
Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four Uh huh
Liscense and regestration and step out of the car
Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are
I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit
Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for that
Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?
Or somebody important or somethin?
Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to inore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clappin
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there i go traped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African
All because ths fool was harrasin them
Tryin to play the boy like he's saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun
I got 99 problems but this bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy

If you haven't got problems I feel bad for you son; I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

Tip my hat, to the sun in the west.
Feel the beat right in my chest.
At the crossroads, a second time.
Make the devil, change his mind.
It's a pound of flesh! but it's really a ton.

99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

If you haven't got problems I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

99...problems...but a bitch ain't one.

Like broken glass, under my feet
I can lose my mind, in the sea

Lookin' for the prize but I don't want blood
Order one drink, then I drink the flood
You can come in sir! But your friends can't come.

99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

If you haven't got problems I feel bad for you son
99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

I got 99.....
99.....
99.....
99.....

99...problems... but a bitch ain't one.

99.....

99...problems...but a bitch ain't one.

[Verse 1]
I got a bitch with pearls a bitch teeth with golds
A bitch on da shelf and a bitch that's sold
I got a bitch down low and a bitch Im doing publicly
A bitch I cant stand and the bitches still lovin me
I got a bitch I beep a bitch I call a bitch in thongs and one in
Regular draws I got a bitch thats a bout and we fuck in the car
Two bitches thats down with a may-nah-sej-twa
I got a bitch in a corola a bitch in a bentley
A bitch who aint lose her virginity yet
I got a bitch thats a thug and she carry a gat
A bitch that look like Kim and one that look like Da Brat
I got a Bitch thats a freak and she's fienin
Fa dick I got a bitch from Peru and she no speak a english
I got so many bitches they get done
I got 99 problems and a Bitch aint one

[Verse 2]
I got a broke Bitch stay broke with no ends
I got a bitch who loves weed but never be smokin
A Ho bitch who be fuckin her friends ----
Yappin bitches who be up in my faces with yo shit
I got bitches that know shit a hustlin blow bitch
A bitch that gotta choppa and she with it I knows this
A bitch who got a boyfriend a bitch with a Ho
A bitch who like to sniff it off the tip of yo joe
I got a bitch who on welfare a bitch who on ex
A bitch who like to lye I met her threw lex
I got 32 fat bitches 18 sluts 64 noodles and a bitch in a truck

I got so many bitches and they love to get done
I got 99 problems and a bitch aint one [2x]

[Chorus]
Dont give a fuck about a bitch
Aint gotta worry about a bitch
I got so many bitches that get done
I got 99 problems and a bitch aint ONE [2x]

[Verse 3]
I got big bootie bitches Big tittie bitches
Cornbread eatin ass from the city bitches
Bitches from the dirty south bitch from the bay
A bitch who in that video with snoop and dre
I got a ride or die bitch a bitch who still cloth
A bitch who say she badder then all of u hoes
I got a nasty bitch a prankters bitch
A two time offendin ass gangsta bitch
See I'm Money Mark Diggular a playa fa sho
Hit them 16-60 blind criple or po
Its u is or u aint bitch let me know
Cause I got a whole team but Im lookin fa mo

I got so many bitches and they love to get done
I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one [2x]

[background]
shake that ass ho
shake that ass ho
shake that ass ho
shake that ass ho
shake that ass ho
shake that ass ho

Tre plus
Tre Plus

[Ice-T]
Yeah, last year a lot of motherfuckers asked me
why I didn't do no old sex nasty shit
But this year I went down to Miami and got my nigga from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the motherfuckin nigga)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these niggaz is havin girl problem, Marq
(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it...

I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a bitch with hair, a bitch with none
A bitch with a knife, a bitch with a gun
A bitch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a bitch over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get
But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet; I'll slam a sista though, word
Ice in the whole damn herd
I fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the curve
I got a bitch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
who likes to fuck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink
Got a bitch with tits, a bitch with ass
A bitch with none, but hey I give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit it...
Nah a bitch ain't one

[Ice-T]
I got a bitch that's old, a bitch that's new
A bitch who love velvet in the colors blue
I got a bitch who's fat, a bitch who's built
A bitch who all her titties give out powdered milk
I got a bitch who's funny, a bitch who ain't
A bitch who can sing, a bitch who cain't
A bitch who loves fuckin on a airplane..
I even got a bitch off +Soul Train+
I got a bitch who rolls a rag-top Benz..
Long ends
I got a bitch who's broke as a bum..
But she's the most fun
I got a bitch who play piano, a bitch who don't
A bitch who dances naked, a bitch who won't
A bitch who's short, a bitch who's tall
A bitch who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me

Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show
these motherfuckers all the over the world; the 2 Live style
of how the bitches treat a motherfuckin fly nigga like you

[Brother Marquis]
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one of them
I don't trip on hos, cause I don't need none of them
Pussy's the temptation, dick's the persuasion
All hos suck cock nigga how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick dick in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em
The nigga the one-nighter, the bitch exciter
I only love my hos when I'm goin up inside her
Problem number one is gettin money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nuttin cause I ain't offerin
I go hard on my bitches, cause I'm never never softenin
Puttin the demand on 'em, fuck 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So fuck how you feel, you fuckin cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Gettin pussy's just another expense
If pussy pays the bills then dick pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to cum
I've got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one!

[Ice-T]
Ha! Yo Marquis my motherfucker you got problems man?
(A bitch ain't one) Aww shit!
Now let me tell you how to do this shit

[M] I got a bitch that loves to G
[I] She'll fuck you right after she fucks me
[M] I got a bitch who loves both
[I] I got a bitch who loves handcuffs and ropes
[I] I got a bitch that's fast, a bitch that's slow
[M] A bitch that's a virgin and a bitch that's a ho
[I] A bitch that lies
[M] A bitch that's true
[I] A bitch who's a man BECAUSE THEY'RE "Bitches 2"
[I] I got a bitch that's cool
[M] A bitch that's hot
[I] A bitch who loves rap, a bitch who loves rock
[I] A bitch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
[I] She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
[M] I got a bitch that runs, I got a bitch that walks
[M] I got a bitch that yells, I got a bitch who talks
[I] I got a bitch that's dirty, got a bitch that's neat
[I] I got a super fine bitch that I knocked in the swap meet

[Ice-T]
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me...
No a bitch ain't one..
(Huh, you know a bitch ain't one!)

[Ice-T]
Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my motherfuckin rent Marquis
But a bitch ain't one

[Brother Marquis]
Man you got yourself nothin man
Fuck them raggedy stank-ass hos nigga

[Ice-T]
A bitch ain't one
I got a problems stayin out here on these streets
with the police trying to take a nigga out, y'know?
But a bitch ain't one
Got problems with motherfuckers.. buyin my records
But a bitch ain't one

[Brother Marquis]
Fuck 'em all, nigga fuck them motherfuckers

[Ice-T]
Youknahmsayin? A bitch ain't one
Got problems man

[Brother Marquis]
All them motherfuckers can kiss my motherfuckin ass.. f'real

[Ice-T]
Really, niggaz worryin about bitches
They better, they better find somethin else to worry about
[fades out]