Holy Shit, It’s Christmas
by Bing Crosby
Hamster #1: Did you hear that?
Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Hamster #2: There is, too!
Hamsters: He's here!!!
Rivers: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas!
Hamster #1: Aw shit, it's Red Peters!
Rivers: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song.
Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny stupid song!
Hamster #2: Yeah no way.
Rivers: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks.
Hamsters: Okay, okay
Rivers:
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me.
Forget about all that teasin'.
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
Cause it's that jolly season.
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business
He's making his list and he's checking it twice.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me.
Forget about all that teasin'.
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
Cause it's that jolly season.
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business
He's making his list and he's checking it twice.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Hamsters:
Santa comes just once a year
Just like you, Red. That's what we hear.
He's got a soft spot for reindeer.
Especially Rudolph's derierre.
Santa comes just once a year
Just like you, Red. That's what we hear.
He's got a soft spot for reindeer.
Especially Rudolph's derierre.
Rivers:
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday.
Go on, give Santa a big kiss.
You can play hide the hamster on the one-horse sleigh.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday.
Go on, give Santa a big kiss.
You can play hide the hamster on the one-horse sleigh.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Rivers: Hey what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyric sheet?
Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?
Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part
Hamster #2: Yeah me too
Rivers: Well that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs.
Godfried: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the egg nog
Bruce: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log
Raleigh: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business
Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas
After drinking all the egg nog
Bruce: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log
Raleigh: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business
Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube.
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas
Rivers:
Santa comes just once a year.
Up the chimney he'll disappear.
Santa comes just once a year.
Up the chimney he'll disappear.
Hamsters:
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear
Hamster deliveries in the rear
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear
Hamster deliveries in the rear
Rivers:
Gimme those lyrics
Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand...what?
The sleigh came down and took him away.
The whole damn crowd was dismissed.
Gimme those lyrics
Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand...what?
The sleigh came down and took him away.
The whole damn crowd was dismissed.
All:
It was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay.
Holy shit, it's Christmas.
Holy shit, it's Christmas.
Holy Shit! It's Christmas!
It was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay.
Holy shit, it's Christmas.
Holy shit, it's Christmas.
Holy Shit! It's Christmas!