Mountain Town

Stan:
[relaxed] There's a bunch of birds in the sky,
And some deers just went running by.
Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown!
Just
A-
nother Sunday morning in my
quiet
mountain
town.

[brisk] The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow, I mean.
This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown!

All the happy people stop to say hello,

Townsman:
Get out of my way!

Stan:
Even though the temperature's low.
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my
quiet
little
mountain
town.

Sharon:
Well, good morning, Stan!

Stan:
Mom! Can I have eight dollars to see a movie?

Sharon:
A movie? But I thought you were going ice-skating.

Stan:
But this is gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film, from Canada!

Sharon:
All right, all right. Here you go. But be back for supper!

Stan:
Thanks, mom!

Sharon:
Oh, what a picture-perfect child!
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild.
He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown.

What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure.
And a mind so open and pure.
Thank God we live in this
quiet
redneck
mountain
town!

Stan:
Hi! Is your son home?

Ms. McCormick:
I think so. HEY!!

Stan:
Ow.

Ms. McCormick:
Kenny, wake up! Kenny, damnit, come on!

Kenny:
(Okay, mom!)

Stan:
Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come?

Kenny:
(Yeah, you guys. I'd love to, okay?)

Ms. McCormick:
Where do you think YOU're going?

Kenny:
(To the Terrance and Phillip movie.)

Ms. McCormick:
You can't! You have to go to church!

Kenny:
(But Mom, I wanna see this movie!)

Ms. McCormick:
Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, YOU CAN ANSWER TO SATAN!

Kenny:
(…Okay!)

Stan:
You can see your breath hanging in the air.
You see homeless people, but you just don't care.
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown!

Kenny:
(Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day, And that I'm glad I can say)
Stan:
That's right! It's Sunday morning [with church choir] in our
quiet
little
white-bread
redneck
mountain
town!

Kyle:
Okay, Ike. Let's try this one more time.

Ike:
dehr faminehrer?

Kyle:
Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

Ike:
Don't kick the baby.

Kyle:
Kick the baby.

Stan:
Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie!

Kyle:
Oh my God, dude!

Sheila:
Kyle, what's going on?

Kyle:
Nothing. We're going skating now.

Sheila:
Oh. Well, take your little brother out with you.

Kyle:
Aw, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted.

Sheila:
Do as I say, Kyle!!

Kyle:
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

Sheila:
Look at those frail and fragile boys,
It really gets me down.
The world is such a rotten place,
And city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this
redneck
meshuggeneh
qui-
et
moun-
tain
town!

Cartman:
Mom, somebody's at the door! Mom, somebody's at the door, I said!

Liane:
Coming, hon.

Cartman:
Ey! I can't see the TV!

Reporter:
It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him.

Liane:
Oh, look, Eric. It's your little friends.

Ike:
Torry mayam!

Cartman:
What are you guys doing here?! Oh. Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!!

The boys:
[regal, quickening] Off to the movies we shall go,
where we learn everything that we know,
'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say!

And this movie's gonna make our lives complete,
[slowing] 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet.

Cartman:
Super sweet!

The boys:
Thank God we live in a
quiet
little
redneck
podunk
white-trash

Kenny:
(kick-ass!)

The boys:
U… S… A!!!

Stan:
Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire, please?

Clerk:
NO!!!