One Man Shows
by Kizito
I'm 19 years old, I'm a young comedian. I hate that term, young comedian, you know. I prefer prodigy
And people, they pigeonhole me as a comic
You know, which is so disingenuous 'cause I'm not a comic, I'm an artist
And I don't do comedy shows, I do one man shows
And I've been doing them, uh
1998 was actually my first one man show
It was a show about Jews in Nazi Germany called Under the Floor Boards
I'll do a scene from that, uh, right now
No no no, Watch and then judge
This is a scene from Under the Floor Boards:
Hey, shh
And people, they pigeonhole me as a comic
You know, which is so disingenuous 'cause I'm not a comic, I'm an artist
And I don't do comedy shows, I do one man shows
And I've been doing them, uh
1998 was actually my first one man show
It was a show about Jews in Nazi Germany called Under the Floor Boards
I'll do a scene from that, uh, right now
No no no, Watch and then judge
This is a scene from Under the Floor Boards:
Hey, shh
And then '99, '99, I did a show called The Catholic Orgasm, I'll do a scene from that: (Moaning), (Sobbing)
2000, I did a piece called The Inappropriate Musician, I'll do a scene from that
Mike, Mike, back off the ledge, Mike, th-
Mike, think about your kids, do you want them to grow up without a father, is that what you want, Mike?! Mi-
Please listen to me, I'm your friend
No, Mike, don't jump! No, Mike, no!
(Slide whistle down) (Slide whistle up) He's saved
Mike, Mike, back off the ledge, Mike, th-
Mike, think about your kids, do you want them to grow up without a father, is that what you want, Mike?! Mi-
Please listen to me, I'm your friend
No, Mike, don't jump! No, Mike, no!
(Slide whistle down) (Slide whistle up) He's saved
2001, I did John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath
Except I adapted it into a story about an intergalactic sexual predator called The Rapes of Grath
Except I adapted it into a story about an intergalactic sexual predator called The Rapes of Grath
2002, I did a piece, if you're familiar with The Elephant Man, I did a piece based off that called Bulldog Man (Voice cracks when he says man)
Oh, also known as Bulldog Man (Says man properly) for those who hit puberty, And I uh
I'll do a monologue from that right now: (Silence) (Laughter) For those listening on the CD, I kind of look like a bulldog
Oh, also known as Bulldog Man (Says man properly) for those who hit puberty, And I uh
I'll do a monologue from that right now: (Silence) (Laughter) For those listening on the CD, I kind of look like a bulldog
2003, 4? 3. Doesn't matter, I'm lying 2000-, 04, I did a piece called Sméagol, from Lord of the Rings, Having Sex with a Black Chick, I'll do that
(Moaning as Sméagol) Precious
I actually got a Danza nomination for that, it was
Right after the Tony's
(Moaning as Sméagol) Precious
I actually got a Danza nomination for that, it was
Right after the Tony's
2000, uh, 5 2005, if I could get a blackout for this, I did a piece called Charlie Brown Getting Molested, so if we could blackout right now Hello? Is anybody here?
(Unintelligible trombone noises a la Peanuts cartoon)
What the fuck are you doing?! Let go of me!
(Unintelligible trombone noises) Good grief
(Unintelligible trombone noises a la Peanuts cartoon)
What the fuck are you doing?! Let go of me!
(Unintelligible trombone noises) Good grief
So, 2000, uh, bring the lights up. 2007 2007, I did a piece called The Juggler's Wife, I'll do a scene from that: Please Stop JUGGLING!
2008, I did a
Bit of a controversial piece because I played a slave in the 1780's, but I didn't wear make-up
'Cause I feel as, you know, an artist I'm qualified to tell any story, and uh
It was a piece called Whiplashes and this was the climactic scene It is hard, raw art, so if you're adverse to that, you might want to look away
But this is, um, the climactic scene from Whiplashes and I hope you enjoy it You'll have to answer to God for this
(Whip crack) Ow, Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow...You're a dick
Bit of a controversial piece because I played a slave in the 1780's, but I didn't wear make-up
'Cause I feel as, you know, an artist I'm qualified to tell any story, and uh
It was a piece called Whiplashes and this was the climactic scene It is hard, raw art, so if you're adverse to that, you might want to look away
But this is, um, the climactic scene from Whiplashes and I hope you enjoy it You'll have to answer to God for this
(Whip crack) Ow, Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow...You're a dick
And then, uh, 2000-
...9, which is the last year before the piece I'm doing currently
I did a piece called, it's a very emotional piece, it means a lot to me so forgive me if I break down
But this is a, uh, a scene from it and the piece was called A Boy and His Dog
Get out of here, alright?
Go, I can't afford to keep you anymore, I just
I can't, it's too
Please don't make this harder than it has to be, I
I hate you, is that what you need to hear from me?
Alright, I hate you, I hate you! It's not just me
My dog hates Mexicans too
...9, which is the last year before the piece I'm doing currently
I did a piece called, it's a very emotional piece, it means a lot to me so forgive me if I break down
But this is a, uh, a scene from it and the piece was called A Boy and His Dog
Get out of here, alright?
Go, I can't afford to keep you anymore, I just
I can't, it's too
Please don't make this harder than it has to be, I
I hate you, is that what you need to hear from me?
Alright, I hate you, I hate you! It's not just me
My dog hates Mexicans too