You’ve Gotta Be in the Guard

A long, long time ago in an Air Force far away
Nobody told a fighter pilot what he could not say
He could have a smoke in the cockpit
He could get stone drunk at the bar
And I know some things had to change but we've gone too fucking far

Now you can't this, you can't say that
Some fucking shoe clerk just might get upset
And I just can't believe all our luck
You've gotta be in the guard to say fuck

They say that we've got talent
but judgment's what we lack
Like singing our songs for the colonel's wife
But we won't take it back
She said she was offended but that only made us smile
'Cause deep down we knew she loved it and she was only in denial

Now I don't think it could get any worse
You can't frieking drink and you can't frieking curse
I just can't believe all our luck
You've gotta be in the guard to say fuck

To say fuck.
To say fuck.
I just can't believe all our luck
You've gotta be in the guard to say fuck

Now this political correctness it must come to an end
'Cause we're in the business of killing, who gives a fuck if we offend
I can mow 'em down by the thousands but I can't say a dirty word
Now that's the dumbest fucking thing that I have ever heard

Now I don't think it could get any worse
You can't fucking drink and you can't fucking curse
I just can't believe all our luck
You've gotta be in the guard to say fuck